How to decide between formal and informal Korean: 9 Phrases and Exactly Who Each One Is For
How to decide between formal and informal Korean is a choice you make in the first two seconds of every sentence, before you have even picked the verb. You will get it wrong for a reason that has nothing to do with vocabulary: English carries respect in tone of voice and word choice, while Korean carries it in the ending of the verb — so a warm, friendly sentence can land as an insult because of one missing syllable.
Here is the actual shape of the problem. Spoken Korean runs on three levels you can hear: 해요체 (haeyo-che) for almost everybody, 합니다체 (hamnida-che) when rank or an audience is in the room, and 반말 (banmal) reserved for people who have agreed to it with you.
Pick 해요체 everywhere and you will be slightly stiff with your friends. Pick 반말 by accident and you are the foreigner who talked down to someone's mother. The rest of this page is who gets which.
| Situation | Choosing between formal and informal Korean |
|---|---|
| How much politeness matters | Very high — the ending shifts with age gap, workplace rank, and whether informality has been agreed out loud |
| Safe default | 해요체: 안녕하세요 (annyeonghaseyo) — keep -요 on the end of every sentence and you will not offend anyone. |
If You Only Remember One
Use 해요체 (haeyo-che): put -요 on the end of every sentence.
- 안녕하세요 (annyeonghaseyo) — hello
- 네, 알겠어요 (ne, algesseoyo) — got it
Safe with: strangers, shop staff, taxi drivers, every colleague, your partner's parents, anyone older than you.
The only people it is actually wrong with are close friends your own age, and they will forgive you instantly.
The Expressions, and Who Each One Is For
Jump to a phrase
- 안녕하세요 — annyeonghaseyo (literally: are you at peace?)
- 감사합니다 — gamsahamnida (literally: I feel gratitude)
- 잠시만 기다려 주시겠어요? — jamsiman gidaryeo jusigesseoyo? (literally: would you do me the favour of waiting a moment?)
- 네, 알겠습니다 — ne, algetseumnida (literally: yes, I have come to understand)
- 식사하셨어요? — siksahasyeosseoyo? (literally: did you take a meal?)
- 안녕하십니까 — annyeonghasimnikka (the 하십시오체 form of hello)
- 말씀 편하게 하세요 — malsseum pyeonhage haseyo (literally: please speak comfortably)
- 밥 먹었어? — bap meogeosseo? (literally: did you eat rice?)
- 어서 오시오 — eoseo osio (the 하오체 imperative of come in / welcome)
1. 안녕하세요
annyeonghaseyo (literally: are you at peace?)
This is 해요체 (haeyo-che), the polite level that does most of the work in daily Korean life. Say it to strangers, shop staff, taxi drivers, every colleague, your partner's parents, and anyone whose age you cannot guess.
The -요 on the end is the entire politeness mechanism. Strip it off and you are in 반말.
⚠️ Watch out — There is nobody this offends. It can feel a touch distant with a close friend your own age — they would say 안녕 (annyeong) — but distant is a much cheaper mistake than rude.
2. 감사합니다
gamsahamnida (literally: I feel gratitude)
합니다체 (hamnida-che), formally called 하십시오체 — the formal level, marked by -ㅂ니다/-습니다 endings. Use it with your boss, a client, a professor, an officer, in email, and any time other people are listening.
It is the register of announcements, so it reads as professional rather than warm. That is usually what you want from it.
⚠️ Watch out — To a close friend it sounds like you are filing paperwork — say 고마워 (gomawo). The soft middle option 감사해요 (gamsahaeyo) is fine with a friendly older neighbour, but keep it out of work email, where it reads casual.
3. 잠시만 기다려 주시겠어요?
jamsiman gidaryeo jusigesseoyo? (literally: would you do me the favour of waiting a moment?)
해요체 with two extra politeness machines bolted on: -시- (-si-), the honorific that raises the person you are talking about, and -주시겠어요 (-jusigesseoyo), which turns an order into a question.
Requests are where learners are rudest without noticing, because 기다려요 (gidaryeoyo) is grammatically polite and still sounds like an instruction. Use this longer form with anyone you are asking a favour of — staff, strangers, colleagues, elders.
⚠️ Watch out — Aim it at a close friend and it is comically formal; 잠깐만 (jamkkanman) is enough. Note too that -시- is a separate dial from the speech level — you can be deep in 반말 with a friend and still need -시- when the sentence is about their grandmother.
4. 네, 알겠습니다
ne, algetseumnida (literally: yes, I have come to understand)
합니다체 for accepting an instruction — the standard reply to a manager, a client, or a senior colleague who has just told you what to do.
알겠어요 (algesseoyo) is the 해요체 version and is normal with a peer or a slightly senior colleague you get on with. 알았어 (arasseo) is the 반말 version, for friends.
⚠️ Watch out — Said to a friend, 알겠습니다 reads as sarcasm — the local equivalent of "yes, sir." Koreans use it that way deliberately, so it will not be heard as a charming beginner slip.
5. 식사하셨어요?
siksahasyeosseoyo? (literally: did you take a meal?)
해요체 with the honorific -시- built in: 하다 → 하시다 → 하셨어요. This is the everyday "have you eaten?" that also works as "how are you," and it is the form for an older person, your partner's parents, or a senior colleague.
The same question to a peer colleague is 밥 먹었어요? (bap meogeosseoyo?), and to a close friend 밥 먹었어? (bap meogeosseo?).
⚠️ Watch out — Two traps. Do not aim -시- downward — asking a child or someone much younger 식사하셨어요 sounds like a joke. And never put -시- on yourself: 저는 식사하셨어요 is the most common honorific error there is. Say 저는 먹었어요 (jeoneun meogeosseoyo).
6. 안녕하십니까
annyeonghasimnikka (the 하십시오체 form of hello)
Maximum spoken formality. The places you genuinely hear it: the opening of a presentation, a shop assistant greeting a customer, the army, broadcast news, a politician, a new hire on day one.
In an ordinary office hallway, people say 안녕하세요.
⚠️ Watch out — Used with friends or in a café it is a recognised joke — you will sound like you are addressing a general. Some banks and conservative workplaces do expect it when greeting a senior, so copy what the room actually does instead of deciding in advance.
7. 말씀 편하게 하세요
malsseum pyeonhage haseyo (literally: please speak comfortably)
The phrase that moves you between levels, which is the thing no phrase list tells you. A younger person says this to an older one to invite them to use 반말 downward, while continuing to use 존댓말 (jondaenmal) upward themselves.
Between people close in age, the mutual version is 우리 말 놓을까요? (uri mal noeulkkayo? — shall we drop the formality?). After that, both sides switch.
⚠️ Watch out — The offer is supposed to come from the older or more senior person. If you are the junior one, do not ask 반말 해도 돼요? (banmal haedo dwaeyo?) — asking permission to talk down to someone senior is the awkward version. Wait to be told 편하게 해 (pyeonhage hae).
8. 밥 먹었어?
bap meogeosseo? (literally: did you eat rice?)
반말 (banmal), the casual level — mechanically, the 해요체 form with the 요 taken off. This is correct and expected with a close friend of similar age, a sibling, a child, and anyone who has told you to speak comfortably.
Among close friends, insisting on 요 is the thing that feels wrong, not the other way around.
⚠️ Watch out — Age alone does not license it. A colleague two years younger, a stranger who looks twenty, your friend's little brother on first meeting — all get 요 until something explicitly changes. Dramas are the trap: those leads are in 반말 because of a relationship the script established in episode one.
9. 어서 오시오
eoseo osio (the 하오체 imperative of come in / welcome)
Grammars list six speech levels, and this is one of the two you can nearly ignore: 하오체 (hao-che). You will meet it in historical dramas, old novels, subtitles for kings, and a few corners of the internet where people use it for fun.
Its neighbour 하게체 (hage-che) — the level that goes with the pronoun 자네 (jane) — is not quite dead: some older men still use it to a son-in-law or a much younger adult.
⚠️ Watch out — Say either to a real person today and the effect is costume drama, not respect. If you want the formal register, that is 합니다체. Relatedly, the textbook imperative 들어가십시오 (deureogasipsio) mostly lives on signs and announcements — out loud, people say 들어가세요 (deureogaseyo).
## How It Sounds in Real Life
Convenience store, you and a cashier you have never met — 해요체 in both directions.
You: 이거 얼마예요? (igeo eolmayeyo?) - How much is this? Cashier: 삼천 원이에요. (samcheon wonieyo.) - It's 3,000 won. You: 감사합니다. (gamsahamnida.) - Thank you.
First week at work, you and your manager — you go up to 합니다체, they come down to 해요체. This asymmetry is normal and permanent.
Manager: 이 자료 오늘까지 가능해요? (i jaryo oneulkkaji ganeunghaeyo?) - Can you have this ready today? You: 네, 알겠습니다. (ne, algetseumnida.) - Yes, understood. Manager: 고마워요. (gomawoyo.) - Thanks.
Meeting your partner's mother for the first time — you use 해요체 with -시-, she uses 반말 to you.
Mother: 식사했어? (siksahaesseo?) - Have you eaten? You: 네, 먹었어요. 어머님은 식사하셨어요? (ne, meogeosseoyo. eomeonimeun siksahasyeosseoyo?) - Yes, I have. Have you eaten? Mother: 응, 먹었어. (eung, meogeosseo.) - Yes, I have.
After-work drinks with a colleague a few years older — the senior one makes the offer, then both of you switch.
Colleague: 우리 말 놓을까요? (uri mal noeulkkayo?) - Shall we drop the formality? You: 네, 좋아요. (ne, joayo.) - Yes, let's. Colleague: 그럼 내일 보자. (geureom naeil boja.) - See you tomorrow, then. You: 응, 내일 봐. (eung, naeil bwa.) - Yeah, see you tomorrow.
Two close friends — this is the one setting where 존댓말 would be the strange choice.
A: 밥 먹었어? (bap meogeosseo?) - Did you eat? B: 아직. 너는? (ajik. neoneun?) - Not yet. You? A: 나도 아직. 같이 먹자. (nado ajik. gachi meokja.) - Me neither. Let's eat together.
Which One Do I Pick?
- You don't know the person, don't know their age, and nothing official is happening: 해요체. Put -요 on the end and stop thinking about it.
- Someone outranks you in a hierarchy that exists on paper — boss, client, professor, officer — or other people are listening: 합니다체, with -ㅂ니다/-습니다 endings.
- Writing rather than speaking — email, a message to a landlord, a form, a first message to anyone: go one level up from what you would say out loud.
- You are asking for something rather than stating something: add -시- and the -주시겠어요 (-jusigesseoyo) wrapper, whatever level you are already in.
- Mutual 반말 only after it has been agreed out loud, or with a friend you were close to before either of you was counting years.
- Lost mid-conversation? Listen to the ending they put on you and answer one notch more polite. Matching them exactly is the risk; over-polite is never the embarrassing direction.
Mistakes That Give You Away
- Dropping the 요 with a stranger your own age to sound friendly. It reads as talking down, not as warmth. Keep the 요 until they drop theirs first.
- Using 당신 (dangsin) for "you" because a textbook glossed it that way. In speech it is cold or openly picking a fight. Use their name + 씨 (ssi), their title (부장님, bujangnim), or just omit the subject — Korean lets you.
- Saying 수고하셨습니다 (sugohasyeotseumnida) to someone clearly senior. Opinions genuinely differ and plenty of offices use it in both directions, but the etiquette-strict reading is that 수고 travels downward. 감사합니다 or 고맙습니다 (gomapseumnida) is never wrong.
- Copying 반말 off your favourite drama character. 야 (ya) and 뭐야? (mwoya?) come with a relationship the script built first; delivered cold to a real person they are exactly as rude as they look.
- Stacking honorifics onto yourself — 저는 식사하셨어요, 제가 가시겠습니다. -시- only ever raises someone else. Say 저는 먹었어요 and 제가 가겠습니다 (jega gagetseumnida).
- Speaking the textbook imperative out loud: 들어가십시오 (deureogasipsio), 기다리십시오 (gidarisipsio). Those live on signage and in announcements; people say 들어가세요 and 기다려 주세요 (gidaryeo juseyo).
What Learners Get Wrong
"Formal is polite and informal is rude, so I'll just be formal with everyone."
존댓말 (jondaenmal) with someone close is not neutral — it inserts distance, and between friends it is how people signal they are angry or pulling back. With strangers and seniors over-formality costs you nothing; with your best friend it is a message.
"If I know someone's age, I know which one to use."
Age is one input. In a workplace rank beats age — a 29-year-old team lead gets 존댓말 from a 40-year-old new hire — and between near-peers the deciding factor is simply whether 반말 has been agreed out loud.
"She used 반말 to me, so I can use it back."
Asymmetric is the normal steady state, not a transitional phase: a senior speaks down in 반말 while you keep 존댓말 going up, indefinitely. The switch happens when someone says 말 놓으세요 or 편하게 해, not when you notice their endings.
"Korean has two levels, formal and informal."
Grammars list six. Spoken Korean runs on three — 합니다체, 해요체, 반말 — and a fourth, 해라체 (haera-che), is everywhere in writing: books, headlines, your own notes. That is why written Korean looks so blunt when you start reading it.
Why Korean Has So Many Ways to Say This
In English, respect lives in word choice and tone: "could you possibly" versus "give me that." Korean puts it in the verb ending, and the ending is compulsory — every finished sentence announces your relationship to the listener whether you meant to or not. Take 가다 (gada, to go): 갑니다 (gamnida), 가요 (gayo), 가 (ga), 간다 (ganda). Identical information about going somewhere, four different claims about who you are to the person in front of you. There is no neutral ending to hide behind, which is why "formal or informal" is not a style question in Korean the way it is in English.
What makes it predictable is that two separate dials are doing the work. The first is the speech level (상대높임법, sangdae-nopimbeop — addressee honorification), and it sits at the very end of the sentence: that is 합니다체, 해요체, 반말. The second is the honorific -시- (주체높임법, juche-nopimbeop — subject honorification), and it sits in the middle of the verb, raising whoever the sentence is about. They move independently, which is how you get 선생님이 가셨어 (seonsaengnimi gasyeosseo) — 반말 ending because you are talking to your friend, -시- in the verb because the person you are discussing is your teacher.
Once you can see the two dials you can build forms this post never listed. Start from the 해요체 form you already know: delete the 요 and you have 반말 (가요 → 가, 먹었어요 → 먹었어). Going up to 합니다체 is not a swap but a rebuild from the stem — 가요 → 갑니다, 먹어요 → 먹습니다, and questions take -까 (갑니까?, 먹습니까?). The practical consequence is that the choice is made per relationship, not per sentence: you settle it once when you meet someone, it stays settled, and moving down a level has an actual procedure (말 놓다, mal nota). Which also means moving up a level mid-conversation is never an accident — when a Korean friend suddenly starts putting 요 on the end, you have done something.
Related Guides
What You Will Need Next
- how to say thank you in korean to your boss
- when can you start using banmal with a korean friend
- how to address someone older in korean when you don't know their name
Make the choice once per person, not once per sentence: decide what this human is to you — stranger, senior, agreed friend — and the ending follows automatically. Until someone tells you otherwise the answer is 해요체, with 합니다체 the moment rank or an audience appears. The only genuinely expensive mistake is reaching for 반말 before it has been handed to you.
댓글
댓글 쓰기